Greetings dear readers / salam buat para pembaca

Knowing that I say it better in writing, and I do love writing, I decided to write my experiences and thoughts in this blog so this is my e-diary.

Don't speak Indonesian? No need to worry, it is written both in Indonesian and in English.

Happy Reading, everybody !
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Buat saya mengungkapkan isi hati dan pemikiran lebih gampang dilakukan dalam bentuk tulisan dan karena saya juga senang menulis, saya memutuskan menulis hal-hal yang saya alami dan yang ada dalam pikiran saya dalam blog ini.

Untuk yang tidak bisa berbahasa Indonesia, jangan khawatir, blog ini saya tulis dalam bahasa Indonesia dan Inggris.

Selamat membaca !

Monday, April 7, 2014

A Love So Beautiful

Will You Stand By Me When The Story Gets Told? (Shayne Ward – Stand By Me)

Saya duduk disini dan memikirkan apa yang akan saya tulis.

Here I am sitting and thinking what will I write.

Suara Shayne Ward terdengar lewat earphone saya. Lagu Stand By Me mengalun lembut. Saya menyimak kata-katanya.


Shayne Ward’s voice was heard through my earphone. The song Stand By Me is sung softly. I listened to the words carefully.

Cinta..

Love..

Seberapa besar kekuatan cinta?

How powerful is love?

Maukah kita tetap mencintai seseorang ketika dia sakit, lemah atau tidak berdaya?

Would we keep loving somebody when that person is ill, weak or become helpless?

Masih adakah cinta untuk orang itu walau dia tidak lagi gagah, keren, kaya, sukses atau populer seperti saat kita mengenalnya di awal perkenalan dulu?

Would that love still exist though that person is no longer as cute, cool, rich, success or popular as when we knew him/her in the past?

Saya berpikir tentang hal-hal tersebut ketika melihat ayah saya dengan sabar menyuapi ibu saya atau memegangi lengannya ketika ibu saya tidak kuat untuk berjalan sendiri atau ketika berhari-hari ayah saya kurang tidur karena setiap malam menemani ibu saya yang tidak bisa tidur atau pada saat-saat ibu saya dalam keadaan demikian lemah sampai tidak sanggup untuk membersihkan dirinya sendiri setelah buang air kecil atau besar, ayah saya tanpa rasa jijik menceboki ibu saya..

44 years ago..

I thought about those things when I saw my father patiently feeds my mother or holds her arm when she didn’t have energy to walk or when he spent sleepless nights with my mother who couldn’t sleep or when she was so weak she couldn’t clean herself after going to the loo and my father without any disgust would do that for her.

on my father's 70th birthday

Beberapa hari lalu saya mengobrol dengan beberapa satpam di tempat kerja saya dan obrolan kami sampailah pada seseorang yang di kantor pusat dikenal sebagai seorang yang tegas, disiplin, adil, tanggap dan kinerjanya pun baik.

Few days ago I had conversation with the guards in my workplace and the topic turned to somebody in the central office who was once known as a firm, discipline, fair, responsive and had good work performance.

“Sayangnya dia jatuh karena perempuan, bu” kata seorang dari mereka dengan penyesalan terlihat jelas diwajahnya.

“It was a shame that he was disgraced because of a woman, ma’am” said one of them, deep regret clearly shown on his face.

Mereka menceritakan bagaimana laki-laki itu terang-terangan menjalin hubungan dengan seorang wanita ketika istrinya sedang dalam keadaan sekarat karena sakit parah. Ketika ditegur, jawabannya adalah kalau yang menegurnya berada dalam posisinya maka dia akan berpendapat lain..

They told me how this man openly showed his relationship with a woman when his wife was dying out of terminal illness. When he was given reprimand due to his affair, he shot back that anyone who were in his place would say differently..

Ketika istrinya meninggal, laki-laki ini pun menikahi wanita yang dipacarinya selama istrinya sedang sekarat.

When his wife passed away, he married the woman with whom he had an affair when his wife was dying.

Bukan kisah tentang affairnya yang membuat saya prihatin.

It is not the story about his affair that concerned me.

Kata-katanya ketika dia ditegur (karena memiliki affair) bahwa siapa saja yang berada dalam posisinya akan memahami tindakannya.. menimbulkan tanda tanya besar dalam pikiran saya..

His reply when people gave their disapproval (of him having affair) that anyone who were in his position would understand.. leaves a big question mark hanging over in my head.

Tentulah ada cinta di antara dia dan mendiang istrinya. Kalau tidak, mana mungkin mereka akan menikah, menjalin belasan atau mungkin puluhan tahun bersama-sama membangun suatu keluarga.

There was certainly love between him and his late wife. Otherwise, would they tie the knot, spent so many years together raising a family.

Lalu apa yang terjadi dengan cinta itu ketika istrinya sakit dan menjadi sekarat?

What happened to that love when his wife got ill and dying?

Kemana perginya cinta itu?

Where did that love go?

Saya tidak bermaksud untuk menghakimi siapa pun atau mengambil kesimpulan sepihak, saya hanya berpikir tentang cinta yang semakin kuat dan cinta yang hilang ketika kehidupan tidak lagi indah..

I don’t mean to judge anyone or taking one sided conclusion, I am just thinking about love that goes stronger and love that is lost when life is no longer beautiful..

Dalam hubungan pribadi saya..

In my own personal relationship..

Andre.

Kami sudah saling kenal selama hampir 7 tahun. Tapi ketika kesusahan luar biasa menimpa kehidupan saya, keputusan saya adalah tidak meminta atau menuntut dia untuk berdiri di sisi saya. Yang terjadi malah, saya memutuskan hubungan kami karena merasa saya bukan lagi orang yang dikenalnya, saya tidak lagi sehat dan kuat, saya tidak ingin menjadi beban, saya tidak mau dia kecewa..

We have known each other for nearly 7 years. But when that one hell of hardship fell upon my life, I decided not to ask or demand him to standby me. What I did was breaking up with him because I felt I was not the person he used to know, I was not healthy and strong, I didn’t want to be a burden, I didn’t want to disappoint him..

2012-2013 adalah tahun puncak penderitaan bagi saya..

2012-2013 was the year when the misery in my life reached its climax..

Kesulitan bukan barang baru bagi saya. Tapi di masa lalu tidak pernah kesulitan membuat saya demikian takut dan putus asa.

Hardship is not a new thing for me. But in the past hardship never made me so scared and despaired.

Kelainan hormon membuat menstruasi saya setiap bulannya hanya berhenti selama seminggu atau bahkan kurang dari itu, obat sepertinya tidak berhasil untuk menyembuhkannya, dokter memberi diagnosa mengerikan dan masih pula harus menanggung biaya pengobatan yang demikian tinggi..

The gynecologist's room in PMI Hospital

Hormonal problem made me had monthly menstruation for almost twenty days or sometimes longer than that, medicine didn't seem to work, doctor gave bleak prognosis, plus had to face the sky high medical expenses..

Pada saat itu ibu saya juga sedang sakit parah.

At the same time we were also dealing with my mother’s critical condition.

Rasanya kesusahan-kesusahan dimasa lalu jadi terasa enteng kalau dibandingkan dengan kondisi saat itu karena pada dulu saya masih jauh lebih muda, lebih kuat, lebih sehat, lebih gagah..

It seems the troubles in the past were nothing compared to the ones we were dealing at that time because back in the past I was younger, stronger, healthier, tougher..

Dan kesusahan di tahun 2012-2013 itu betul-betul mematahkan saya. Bagaimana tidak? Saya sakit, saya menjadi lemah tepat di saat ketika orang tua saya sedang sangat membutuhkan saya. Apa jadinya dengan mereka kalau saya tidak bisa bekerja karena saya penyakitan dan lemah? Bagaimana seorang yang lemah harus menopang orang lemah?

And so the hardship in 2012-2013 really broke me down. How it wouldn’t break me? I fell ill, I became weak right at the time my parents needed me most. What would happen to them if I couldn’t work to make our ends meet because I fell ill and became weak? How a weak person had to carry another weak person?

Keadaan membaik mulai tahun 2014 ini.

Things got better in 2014.

Tapi kesusahan maha dahsyat di tahun 2012-2013 itu telah membentuk saya menjadi orang yang lebih keras terhadap diri sendiri dan juga pada orang-orang disekitar saya.

But that one hell of a hardship in 2012-2013 has formed me into a tough person on myself and on others.

Ya, Andre selalu sabar menghadapi saya. Tapi masih bisakah dia sabar seandainya kondisi fisik saya menjadi demikian lemah?

Yes, it is true that Andre has always have tons of patience for me. But would he still have it when my physic has became so weak?

Dan kalau saya membalikkan pertanyaan itu kepada diri saya; masih bisakah saya memiliki kesabaran seandainya fisik Andre menjadi demikian lemah?

And if I turn that question to myself; would I be able to have tons of patience if he were became weak?

Masihkah cinta itu tetap ada dan tetap kuat?

Would that love still be in its place and remain strong?

Cinta adalah hal yang sangat indah. Cinta adalah anugerah. Tapi setelah sekian tahun lewat dan ketika kehidupan berubah dari pagi menjadi malam.. bisakah cinta itu tetap ada dan menjadi semakin kuat ataukah dia akan hilang?

Love is a wonderful thing. Love is a blessing. But the years pass and when life turns from day to night.. will that love persist and become stronger or would it be gone?

Post script, seorang teman saya mengirimkan cerita tentang Mark Lukach yang istrinya menderita penyakit bipolar disorder, sejenis penyakit mental yang menyebabkan penderitanya mengalami perubahan kondisi mental dari bahagia dan bersemangat untuk kemudian tanpa sebab jelas bisa tiba-tiba menjadi kebalikannya; depresi, tidak bisa tidur, tidak mau makan dan berkelakuan tidak masuk akal seperti menjadi histeris, berhalusinasi dan berkeinginan untuk bunuh diri (wikipedia).

Post script, a friend of mine emailed me a story about Mark Lukach whose wife has a bipolar disorder, a mental illness that makes a person has changing moods from being energetic and excitable turn to be depressed, have insomnia, losing appetite and showing erratic behavior such as becoming hysterical, hallucinating and suicidal (wikipedia).

Saya mencari info tentang Mark Lukach dan saya menemukan rekaman yang dibuat oleh The Moth di youtube.


I googled to find info about Mark Lukach and I found this footage made by The Moth.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Keke, we are 50 years married. Then you have good and bad years. I have always worked in a nursing home than you can also see that the partner of someone where they lost contact with it can get, their consolation for the loss of someone. At another search.
    My husband has today his fifth surgery. This means that he was very limited. Because I now no longer work, I have more time for him. I sometimes say he has never had as good care of me. We both enjoy. So I guess love can continue to exist. That you're there for each other. In good and In bad times.

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  2. Thanks for your note, Gre. Yes, so it is why I put the title 'A Love So Beautiful' to honor those who love one another so strong and last so long.

    I dedicate this post for my parents who have been married so long. They have been through so many things together & they remain together & their love remain strong just like you & Rene, and many other couples or friends out there

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