Don’t Worry, Be Happy?

Apa saya dan beberapa rekan kerja jadi menginap? Ya. Kamis (28/3) itu kami jadi menginap di kamar tamu.

Did my colleagues and I spent a night at that guest house? Yep. We did on Thursday (March 28^th).

Seru? Pasti. Apalagi setelah semua pulang dan kehebohan kami dimulai. Bebenah. Cuci mencuci. Menyapu. Mengepel.

Was it fun? You bet. The fun begun after everybody left because that was when we started to clean things up. Washed the dishes. Swept and mopped the floor.

Jam 11.30 malam, ketika yang lainnya mungkin sudah ngorok di atas tempat tidur masing-masing, kami baru selesai. Setengah tidur, setengah bangun, terhuyung-huyung kami masuk ke kamar. Capek. Ngantuk. Tapi begitu sudah mendarat di atas kasur.. eh, mata malah susah dipejamkan. Jadi ngapain? Ngobrol. Bercanda. Curhat. Bergosip. Jam 1 dinihari barulah satu persatu kami tertidur.

It was 11.30 pm when everybody might have been snoring on their beds when worked done. Half sleep, half awake, we got in the room. Exhausted. Sleepy. But once we got into the bed we couldn’t sleep. So we chatted, joked, unburdened our feelings, gossiping. The clock showed 1 am when one by one fell to sleep.

Jam 5 pagi alarm berbunyi. Masya allah! Teganya! Masa ini sudah pagi sih? Kembali lagi kami terhuyung-huyung bangun, mengumpulkan nyawa dan kesadaran. Apa boleh buat. Semua memaksa diri bangun dari pada kebablasan tidur.

The alarm woke us at 5 am. You gotta be kidding me! Was it morning already? We dragged ourselves off the bed, tried to gain consciousness. No one dared to go back to sleep. Worried to be overslept.

Jam 5.30 pagi seorang dari kami heboh mencari pakaian dalamnya. Heh, gimana ceritanya bisa menghilangkan diri begitu sih? Kami meninggalkan kegiatan masing-masing untuk membantunya mencari benda keramat itu. Bantal-bantal di angkat. Lemari dan laci-laci di buka. Kamar mandi diperiksa. Tas di cek. Sampai kolong pun dilongok. Tapi yang dicari masih juga belum ditemukan. Edan, mau nyaingin David Copperfield gitu?..

5.30 am and a colleague went crazy when she couldn’t find her underwear. Now, would you tell me how on earth it could go missing? We came to help her looked for it. The pillows were removed. The closed and drawers were opened. The bathroom was also checked. Took the things out of her bag. We even looked it under the bed. Still it was nowhere to be found. Heck, would it want to be David Copperfield? Made it self disappeared?

Yah, akhirnya ditemukan juga di bawah tikar yang ditidurinya semalam. Saya yang membenahi tikar itu tidak bisa menjelaskan bagaimana benda itu bisa berada di situ tanpa terjatuh ketika saya mengebutkan dan melipatnya.

It eventually found under the mat she slept on last night. I just couldn’t figure it out how that thing could be in there because I was the one who folded it. I swayed it before I fold it.  

Belum lagi selesai kami berlega hati karena akhirnya bisa menemukan benda tersebut, telpon genggam saya berdering. Ayah saya menelpon dari rumah memberitahu ibu saya dalam keadaan gawat dan saya di minta segera pulang.

Our gladness were shortlived. My cellphone rang. It was my dad. He called to let me know that mom’s condition was not good and he asked me to go home.

Aduh, pikiran saya kacau. Pilihan berat. Saya punya tanggung jawab di dua tempat; di kantor dan di rumah. Saya tidak punya pilihan selain harus pulang karena ayah saya seperti sudah tidak mampu berpikir. Saya menyuruhnya untuk menghubungi tetangga kami yang memiliki mobil untuk meminta tolong membawa mereka ke rumah sakit tapi ayah saya bersikukuh menunggu saya pulang.

I couldn’t think straight. Hard choice. I have two responsibilities, at work and at home. But my father insisted I should go home and he sounded like he couldn’t think. I asked him to call our neighbor who owns a car to ask for help to bring mom to the hospital but my father wanted me to go home.

Pada saat-saat seperti ini rasanya kami bertukar tempat. Orang tua saya menjadi anak dan saya menjadi orang tua mereka.

At times like that it seems we changed places. My parents became the kids and I were their parent.

Rekan-rekan saya yang mendengar percakapan saya tanpa ragu menyuruh saya pulang. Dan pulanglah saya.

My colleagues who overheard our conversation urged me to go home. So I did.

Beberapa hari kemudian barulah saya sadar bahwa sebelum saya pulang saya memberikan uang dalam jumlah yang tidak tepat pada seorang rekan saya, lalu saya juga lupa memberitahu seorang dari senior saya dan beberapa kesalahan kecil lainnya. Yah, pagi itu otak saya tidak bekerja dengan semestinya karena perpaduan antara keletihan fisik, kurang tidur dan senewen memikirkan keadaan orang tua di rumah.

Few days later I realized that before I left that day, I left some money to a colleague to buy some snacks and I didn’t give the right amount of money, I also forgot to notify a senior about me leaving so abruptly like that and there were few other small mistakes. My mind seemed to stop working that day out of exhaustment, lack of sleep and nervous over thought about my mom’s condition.

Jumat (29/3) itu fisik dan mental saya babak belur.

That Friday (March 29^th) I was in physical and mentally disarray.

Ibu saya masuk rumah sakit pada hari itu. Tiga hari di rawat.

My mom was hospitalized on that day. She spent three days in the hospital.

Senin (1/4) saya mengambil cuti tanpa mengetahui bahwa waktunya akan menjadi bertepatan dengan keluarnya ibu saya dari rumah sakit. Padahal saya mengajukan cuti pada tanggal itu dengan tujuan untuk memperpanjang paspor saya yang jatuh temponya di akhir bulan April. Rencana terpaksa di ubah.

She was released on Monday (April 1^st) and it was my leave day. I took a day leave that day to extend my passport that is due in April. I never have guessed that my mom would be released from the hospital on that day. Well, plan has to be changed.

Senin siang itu kami tiba di rumah. Jam 5 sore saya tertidur. Jam 7 terbangun dan saya nyaris terjatuh dari tempat tidur ketika akan bangun. Badan terasa sakit semuanya.

We got home on that Monday afternoon. I fell to sleep at 5 pm. Awoke at 7 pm and I nearly fell of my bed when I was about to get up. My body felt so in pain.

Keesokan paginya hal yang sama terulang lagi. Saya bangun jam 6 pagi dengan rasa ngilu yang luar biasa di sekujur badan. Saya sampai harus merayap untuk bisa bangun dari tempat tidur.

The same thing happened again the next morning. I got up at 6 am feeling excruciating pain in my entire body. I had to crawl to get off the bed.

Hari Selasa itu untungnya saya memang libur. Tadinya saya berencana untuk menyapu dan mengepel lantai tapi mana mungkin melakukannya dengan kondisi fisik seperti itu.

Lucky me that it was a day off that Tuesday. I planned to sweep and mop the floor but with that condition I couldn’t do any housework.

Saya hanya bangun untuk buang air kecil. Tidur lagi. Bangun dan sarapan. Kira-kira 15 menit kemudian kembali tidur. Bangun. Makan siang. Satu jam kemudian tertidur lagi. Bangun sore. Jam 4 anak-anak datang untuk les. Jam 7 malam saya tertidur di sofa. Jam 8 bangun. Jam 9 tidur lagi.

I got up only to go to the bathroom. After that I went back to sleep. Got up to have breakfast. Went back to bed few minutes later. Got up at noon. Had lunch. Went back to bed an hour later. Got up before the kids came for their tutoring at 4 pm. Fell to sleep on the sofa at 7 pm until 8 pm. Went back to bed at 9 pm.

Rupanya kelelahan fisik dan mental baru bikin saya ambruk sehari itu.

Physical and mental exhaustment have reached their toll.

Selama tiga hari ibu saya di rawat di rumah sakit, fisik saya letih karena harus kerja, mondar mandir ke rumah sakit dan mengurusi rumah sendirian. Belum lagi syaraf saya tegang. 2-3 tahun belakangan ini orang tua saya bergantian sakit. Saya yang paling muda, paling kuat dan paling sehat pun mengalami kemunduran fisik sejak pertengahan tahun lalu sehingga syaraf saya sempat tidak kuat menanggungnya dan tiga bulan saya depresi berat. Hanya orang-orang terdekat yang mengetahuinya.

For those three days when my mom was in the hospital I had to work, went back and forth to the hospital and taken care housework all by myself. Not to mention the tension. In the past 2-3 years my parents have taken turn in getting sick. Even me who is the youngest, strongest and healthiest had health problem since last year and the whole thing was too much for me to bear that I had depression for three months. Something that only few closest people knew.

Yah, penderitaan memang tidak hanya dialami oleh diri sendiri. Ada begitu banyak orang hidup penuh penderitaan. Banyak yang malah mengalami lebih buruk lagi. Contohnya ibu yang sekamar dengan ibu saya di rumah sakit.

Yes, everybody have their own suffering. Many had worst than what I had been through. Take the lady who shared the hospital room with my mom.

Ibu ini menderita sakit yang tidak jelas. Gejalanya seperti demam berdarah dan tifus tapi hasil test darah menunjukkan dia tidak menderita satu pun dari penyakit itu. 

She didn’t know what made her got ill. The sympthoms were similar to dengue fever and thypus but blood test showed she suffered from none of those illness.

Dia juga di rawat selama tiga hari. Total biayanya tujuh juta. Dia sendiri adalah pegawai kantor pos. Askes yang dimilikinya hanya menanggung biaya sebesari 300 ribu sehari. Jadi sebagian besar biaya harus ditanggungnya. Dari mana? Pinjam uang dari kiri kanan.

She was also hospitalized for three days and it cost her seven millions! She is just a post office worker. Her medical insurance covers only 300 hundred rupiah a day. The rest of the hospital bill must be paid by her and she had to borrow some money.

Suaminya sendiri juga sedang sakit. Kanker getah bening. Ada satu obat yang harganya jutaan dan dia hanya seorang kepala sekolah SD.. bisa dipastikan harga obat itu lebih besar dari gajinya sebulan.

Her husband had lymph nodes cancer and he is just an elementary school headmaster. One of his medicine cost them millions of rupiah. More than his salary could pay for.

Kemudian dua dari tiga anak mereka ternyata juga sedang sakit di rumah.

And two of their three kids were also sick at home.

Saya merenungi penderitaan ibu ini dan berpikir seandainya saya ada ditempatnya, mungkin saya sudah lama jadi sinting beneran. Sedangkan menjalani penderitaan selama 2-3 tahun terakhir ini saja sudah membuat saya merasa takut. Takut saya akan kehilangan akal sehat saya.

I thought about their suffering. If I were her I would definitely have long gone completely insane. And the suffering we had to endure in the past 2-3 years have already scared me off. Scared that I would loose my sanity.

Disekitar kita ada banyak sekali penderitaan. Sedihnya melihat seseorang menderita tanpa kita bisa melakukan sesuatu untuk menghilangkan atau meringankan penderitaan itu karena diri kita sendiri sedang jungkir balik menghadapi berbagai kesulitan dan penderitaan.

Take a look around and see there are many suffering. It is sad to see someone suffers and we can’t do anything to ease it up or make the suffering gone because we are struggling with our own hardship and sufferings.

Entah dunia ini yang sudah gila atau saya yang mulai agak gila…

I don’t know whether the world has gone mad or is it me…