Abacadabra

Sejak seminggu lalu terpikir oleh saya untuk mencari teman-teman sekelas di SMA tapi karena sibuk jadi deh baru dua hari lalu saya bisa melakukannya lewat facebook.

It just came to my mind last week to find my classmates in highschool but I was busy with work that I couldn’t do that until two days ago.

Biar pun sekarang sudah ada mesin pencari seperti facebook tapi menemukan mereka ternyata bukanlah perkara mudah.

Searching people is still not an easy thing though there is search engine like facebook.

Soalnya dari hampir empat puluh teman sekelas, ingatan saya hanya mencatat paling hanya lima nama dan saya tidak membekali diri dengan foto untuk menolong saya mengingat nama-nama mereka.

The thing is of the nearly forty former classmates, there were only about five names that recorded in my memory and I didn’t bring any photos to help me remember their names.

Hal lain yang menyulitkan adalah beberapa dari mereka berganti nama, sama seperti saya sendiri yang tidak lagi memakai nama resmi, dan muka mereka sudah jauh berbeda sehingga menjadi lebih menyulitkan bagi saya untuk mengenali mereka.

Another thing that made it hard to find them is some of them have changed their names, just like myself who no longer use my real name, and they don’t look the same so it made it difficult for me to recognize them.

Tapi akhirnya saya menemukan grup SMA saya dan saya menemukan satu nama yang saya kira adalah teman sekelas saya, ternyata bukan tapi dia berbaik hati memasukkan saya ke grup khusus SMA kami untuk yang lulus tahun 1990.

I finally found my highschool group and in there I found one name whom I thought is my former classmate, well, she is not but she kindly put me in our highschool closed group made especially for those who graduated in 1990.

Saya men-scroll down dan menemukan foto-foto reuni akbar yang diadakan pada bulan Maret dalam rangka memperingati 25 tahun kelulusan kami.

I scrolled down and found photos of grand reunion held on March to commemorate our 25^th year of graduation.

Yahhh… saya ketinggalan berita..

Crap… I missed it..

Dari sekian banyak foto reuni, saya menemukan yang dibuat khusus oleh teman-teman sekelas saya.

Of all the reunion photos, I found one specially made by my former classmates.

Satu dari mereka adalah Prihardono. Dan saya kaget ketika membuka akun facebooknya yang tidak hanya menampilkan dua fotonya dimana dia terlihat amat sangat berbeda, tapi juga ucapan-ucapan belasungkawa dari teman-temannya.

One of them is Prihardono. And it surprised me to discover on his facebook wall not only two photos where he looked so different and also his friends condolences.

Dia meninggal dunia bulan November tahun lalu.

He passed away last year, in November.

Leukemia, kata teman sekelas saya yang saya temukan pada hari itu.

Leukemia, said my former classmate whom I found on that day.

Ah, bukan saja saya ketinggalan berita tentang reuni akbar itu.. saya bahkan tidak tahu ada seorang teman sekelas kami yang sudah meninggal.

Ah, not only I missed the information about that grand reunion.. I didn’t even know one of our classmates has passed away.

Karena kami semua sebaya, sulit bagi saya untuk percaya dia meninggal begitu muda.

Since we all are in same age, it is hard for me to believe that he passed away that young.

Dalam kenaifan, saya berpikir kita semua akan meninggal dalam usia tua.

Naively I thought we all would die old.

Sekarang saya jadi ingin bertemu dengan mereka, sebelum kita semua menjadi tua..

I just have the urge to meet them, before we all turn old..

*   *   *   *   *

Hampir tiga minggu berlalu tanpa kehadiran Doggie.

It has been nearly three weeks passed without Doggie.

Waktu akan menyembuhkan luka di hati.

Time will heal the heartache.

Tapi tetap menyakitkan.

But still hurts.

Kadang saya tidak ingin pulang ke rumah karena semua yang ada di rumah mengingatkan saya pada Doggie.

Sometimes I don’t want to go home because everything at home reminds me to Doggie.

Dua hari lalu saya bermalam di kantor karena ada acara kantor sampai malam. Kamar tamu yang sudah berulang kali menjadi tempat saya bermalam itu pun meninggalkan ingatan tentang saat ketika hari Kamis, 4 Juni lalu saya tidak bisa tidur dan jam satu dini hari Doggie datang menemui saya untuk mengucapkan selamat tinggal.

I spent a night at the office after attending some office event. The guest room where I stayed that night has brought the memory back when on Thursday, 4^th June I couldn’t sleep and at one am Doggie in spirit came to me to say goodbye.

Paginya seorang teman bercanda mengirimi gambar bertuliskan ‘bisa saya kirimi kamu magic?’..

A friend jokingly sent me a picture with tagline written ‘can I send you magic?’..

Ah, yang saya perlukan adalah tongkat sihir, tulis saya dibawah gambar itu.

Uh, what I need is a wand, I wrote under that picture.

Dengan satu ayunan tongkat itu dan sepotong kata mantra ‘abakadabra..’

With one sling of that wand and one word of spell ‘abacadabra..’

*   *   *   *   *

Saya akan menghidupkan Doggie kembali atau memundurkan waktu setidaknya ke tiga bulan atau setahun karena saya ingin meluangkan lebih banyak waktu bersama Doggie.

I would bring Doggie back alive or turn back time to three months or a year because I wanted to spend more time with Doggie.

abakadabra..

abacadabra..

Saya akan menghentikan waktu.

I would stop time.

*   *   *   *   *

Saya akan mengembalikan diri saya ke beberapa tahun lalu supaya saya bisa mencari teman-teman sekelas di SMA, supaya saya masih bisa bertemu dengan Prihardono sebelum dia meninggal dan supaya saya tidak ketinggalan acara reuni akbar itu.

I would bring myself back to few years in the past so I could trace back my former classmates in highschool, so I could meet Prihardono before he died, so I wouldn’t miss that grand reunion.

abakadabra..

abacadabra..

*   *   *   *   *

Saya akan menghapus banyak kesalahan yang saya buat di masa lalu..

I would erase many mistakes I have done in the past..

abakadabra..

abacadabra..

Saya akan melakukan lebih banyak kebaikan..

I would do more good things..

abakadabra..

abacadabra..

Saya akan memberikan kepada diri saya lebih banyak keyakinan diri dan keberanian sehingga tanpa ragu dan takut saya dapat pergi ke lebih banyak tempat, melakukan eksplorasi, bereksperimen dan melakukan perubahan..

I would give myself more self-confidence and guts so without doubt and fear I could go to more places, explored more and changed more..

abakadabra..

abacadabra..

*   *   *   *   *

Tapi tidak ada tongkat sihir dan mantra seperti itu.

But there is no magic wand and no spell like that either.

Yang kita miliki adalah kenyataan.

What we have is reality.

Yang diberikan pada kita adalah saat ini.

What is given to us is this moment.

Tidak ada ‘abakadabra..’ untuk menghentikan waktu atau untuk mengatur langkah kehidupan sesuai dengan keinginan kita.

There is not ‘abakadabra..’ to stop time or to set life according to our wishes.

Jadi hiduplah untuk hari ini, bersyukurlah untuk hari ini, berbuat sebaik mungkin untuk hari ini, nikmatilah hari ini, hargailah apa yang ada pada hari ini, cintailah hari ini..

So live for today, be thankful for today, do good for today, enjoy today, appreciate what today has in store, love today..

This one is for the Mothers..

Kata orang, menjadi seorang ibu adalah suatu anugerah.

They say, it is a blessing to become a mother.

Benarkah begitu?

Is that so?

*   *   *   *   *

Kasus Engeline jadi sorotan media setelah tubuhnya yang sudah membusuk ditemukan terkubur di halaman belakang rumahnya.

news.liputan6.com

Engeline case has become the media’s spotlight after her decomposing body was found burried in the backyard of her house.

Penyelidikan mengungkapkan bahwa gadis kecil berusia delapan tahun itu dibunuh.

Investigation revealed that the eight years old little girl was murdered.

Penyelidikan lebih lanjut menemukan bahwa pembunuhan itu dilakukan oleh ibu angkatnya sendiri.

Further investigation discovered that it was committed by her own adoptive mother.

Ada dugaan kuat ini adalah pembunuhan berencana.

There is strong suspicion this is a second degree murder, an intentional or planned crime.

Motifnya? Harta warisan yang diterima Engeline akan jatuh pada ibu angkatnya bila Engeline meninggal.

The motive? Engeline’s inheritance will be given to her adoptive mother if Engeline passed away.

Banyak orang tersentak. Seorang wanita, yang juga adalah seorang ibu, membunuh seorang anak kecil karena menginginkan harta warisan itu.

It shocked many people. A woman, who is also a mother, murdered a child because she wanted her inheritance.

Tapi itu kan cuma ibu angkat..

But she is just her adopted mother..

Ibu kandung tidak akan pernah berbuat seperti itu.

Biological mother will never do such thing.

Benarkah begitu?

Oh, is that so?

Ketika kita mendengar berita seorang anak dibunuh oleh ibu kandungnya, kita mengatakan ibu itu sedang dalam keadaan stress atau punya masalah kejiwaan.

When we heard news about a child was murdered by his/her biological mother, we said it was because the mother was having stress or had psychological problem.

Benarkah begitu?

Is it true?

*   *   *   *   *

Pada suatu pagi dalam perjalanan ke kantor, saya melihat seorang anak laki-laki berusia mungkin tiga tahun yang terjatuh di trotoar, mungkin karena hilang keseimbangan.

One morning as I was on the way to the office I saw a little boy who probably three years old fell on the sidewalk, maybe because he lost his balance.

Reaksi pertama ibunya adalah membentak-bentak anak itu dengan suara yang keras.

His mother’s first reaction was yelling at the boy with loud voice.

Anaknya sama sekali tidak menangis karena dengan susah payah dia sedang berusaha untuk bangkit berdiri tapi tidak berhasil. Melihatnya dalam keadaan demikian mengingatkan saya pada seekor kura-kura yang berbaring diatas cangkangnya dan berusaha untuk menggulingkan badannya.

His son didn’t cry because he was struggling to stand up but he couldn’t do that on his own. Looking at him reminded me of a turtle lying on his shell, trying helplessly to roll its body.

Apakah ibunya berhenti membentak-bentak anak itu? Tidak.

Did his mother stop yelling at the boy? Nope.

Suaranya saja sudah mengundang perhatian beberapa orang yang naik motor dan berada dalam angkot seperti saya. Tapi yang dilakukannya kemudian membuat kami semua terkesima.

Her voice has already drawn attention few motorists and passengers in angkot like myself. But what she did next really put as all in state of disbelief.

Melihat anaknya tidak juga berhasil bangkit berdiri rupanya tidak membuat ibu ini iba karena dia menghampiri anak itu, menarik tangan kecil bocah malang itu dengan kasar dan menggoncangkannya kuat-kuat seakan-akan anak itu cuma sebuah boneka sambil tetap membentak dan memaki.

Seeing his son couldn’t get up obviously didn’t soften her heart because she came to him, pulled the poor boy’s arm and shook him as if he were just a ragged doll while kept yelling and swearing.

Bisakah kita mentolerir atau memaafkan perbuatan seperti itu dengan dalih si ibu dalam keadaan stress atau karena menderita kelainan jiwa?

Can we tolerate or excuse such behavior because the mother, well say.., was under stress or because of insanity?

*   *   *   *   *

Dalam perjalanan pulang dari kantor hari Minggu tanggal 14 Juni lalu perhatian saya segera tertuju pada seorang anak perempuan di dalam angkot yang saya tumpangi.

On my way home from the office on Sunday, 14^th June, my attention was soon drawn to a little girl in the angkot I was riding in.

Awalnya hanya dia yang saya perhatikan karena beberapa kali dia menatap saya.

At first she was the one I focused on after she stared at me intensely for several times.

Kemudian saya memperhatikan wanita berbaju hitam yang duduk disebelahnya.

Later my attention fell on the lady with black tshirt who sat next to her.

Yang membuat saya jadi memperhatikan mereka lebih intens adalah karena sepanjang perjalanan, dari mulai saya naik ke angkot sampai mereka turun, posisi duduk wanita itu ya seperti yang terlihat dalam foto-foto ini; duduk membelakangi anak perempuan kecil itu.

What made me put more attention on them is because the lady sat on that position from the time I got into angkot until they got off, just as it is shown in these photos.

Selama sekitar setengah jam dalam angkot, mungkin hanya lima kali dia menengok ke belakang untuk melihat anak perempuan itu.

For about half hour in angkot, it was probably just five times she looked back to see the little girl.

Saya sampai sempat berpikir ini ibu dan anak atau bukan ya? Soalnya tidak ada keakraban di antara mereka, komunikasinya hanya dalam bentuk teguran dengan suara ketus dari si wanita itu ketika menyuruh anak perempuan kecil itu untuk duduk, tidak ada rangkulan atau pelukan, tidak ada kata-kata manis, tidak ada obrolan, memegang pun tidak..

I asked myself if they were mother and daughter or not? Because there was no intimacy between them, the only communication between them was when the lady with unfriendly voice told the little girl to sit, there was no embrace or hug, no sweet words, no chat, the lady didn’t even hold her.

Saya bertanya-tanya apa anak perempuan ini adalah anak dari wanita lain yang duduk di samping saya karena kelihatannya mereka ini rombongan dari yang terdiri dari tiga wanita dewasa dan lima orang anak.

I wondered if this little girl was the daughter of the lady who sat next to me because it looked like they were a group of three grown up ladies and five children.

Tapi dari bahasa tubuh si anak perempuan, saya menduga ibunya adalah wanita berbaju hitam itu.

But the little girl’s body language made me guessed her mother is the lady in black tshirt.

Sikap wanita itu yang tidak mengacuhkan anak perempuan kecil ini (terlihat sekali dia lebih suka bicara dengan dua teman wanitanya) sampai-sampai dia tidak tahu berapa kali anak itu hampir jatuh karena dia berdiri saat angkot berjalan dan berhenti (saya yang jadi empot-empotan sampai refleks berapa kali saya mengulurkan tangan untuk menangkapnya) dan tidak tahu bahwa dalam kebosanannya anak itu memunguti bungkus permen, tisu dan entah sampah apa lagi yang berceceran di lantai angkot.

This lady’s ignorance behavior toward this little girl (it showed clearly that she’d rather talk to her friends) that she didn’t know the child was almost lost her balance because she stood when angkot ran and stopped (I was the one who worried she would fall that I spontaneously reached out to hold her) and the lady didn’t know that bored with the ride made the girl picked candy wrapper, tissue and whatever trash scattered on angkot floor.

Kelakuan wanita itu yang mendorong saya untuk diam-diam memotret mereka. Belum terpikir oleh saya untuk menjadikannya sebagai tulisan dalam blog.

The lady’s behavior has encouraged me to secretly took their photos. I didn’t think to make a post in this blog about her.

Emm.. menurut anda, kelakuannya dapat dipahami karena mungkin dia sedang stress atau punya kelainan jiwa?

Umm.. do you think her behavior is understandable because she might be under stress or having mental issues?

*   *   *   *   *

Empat hari kemudian saya sedang dalam angkot dan dalam perjalanan pulang dari kantor ketika seorang wanita dan seorang anak perempuan kecil naik.

Four days later when I was in angkot on the way home from the office, a lady and a little girl got in.

Posisi duduknya persis seperti wanita dan gadis kecil yang saya temui empat hari sebelumnya.

Their seated position was exactly like the lady and the little girl whom I met four days earlier.

Tapi ada perbedaan yang sangat besar. Anda pasti akan bisa langsung melihatnya.

But there was huge difference. You can tell it right away.

Dari mulai mereka naik sampai turun, wanita ini duduk dengan posisi demikian, tapi tangannya tidak pernah lepas merangkul anak perempuan kecil itu dan ada komunikasi di antara mereka. Bahasa tubuh mereka menunjukkan keakraban dan kasih sayang.

From the time they got into angkot until they got off, the lady’s sitting position was just like that, but she put her arm around the little girl's shoulder and there was communication between them. Their body language showed intimacy and love.

*   *   *   *   *

Ingatlah hal ini baik-baik;

Anak tidak terlahir atas keinginan atau permintaannya

Remember this;

A child is born not under his/her wishes or request

Adalah keinginanmu, keputusanmu, pilihanmu, impianmu,

harapanmu, perbuatanmu, hasratmu..

yang membuat anak itu terlahir ke dunia ini

It is your will, your decision, your choice, your dream,

your wish, your act, your passion..

that made that child is born into this world

Anak itu tidak berhutang nyawa padamu,

karena kamu yang menginginkannya

maka kamu harus bertanggung jawab atas nyawanya

The child does not owe his/her life to you

it is you who wants him/her

so you have to be responsible on his/her life

Jangan pernah menghitung jasa baikmu kepada anakmu

Jangan pernah katakan dia membalas air susu dengan air tuba

Never count your good deeds on your child

Never say he/she doesn’t repay your good deeds

Adalah kewajibanmu untuk memberikan segala yang terbaik untuk anakmu

Kalau kasih itu ada dalam hatimu dan tertanam dalam hati anakmu

Segala yang dilakukan anak itu padamu adalah perbuatan kasih

Tanpa harus kamu minta atau ingatkan..

It is your obligation to give the best for your child

If love is in your heart and roots in your child’s heart

Everything the child does to you is moved by love

Without have to be asked or reminded by you..

Jangan perlakukan anakmu bagaikan deposito untuk hari tua

Tugasmu adalah memeliharanya sampai dia dapat berdiri tegak di atas kakinya sendiri

Ketika dia sudah menjadi demikian

Maka itu artinya tugasmu sebagai orang tua telah selesai

Don’t treat your child as if he/she were your future time deposit

Your task is to care for him/her until he/she can stand on his/her own feet

When it is accomplished

It means you complete your task as a parent

Apakah anak itu akan berbuat baik padamu atau tidak

Itu adalah refleksi dari bagaimana kamu memperlakukan mereka dimasa lalu

Atau kalau kamu telah benar-benar yakin

Bahwa kamu telah memperlakukan mereka dengan baik

Maka segalanya kembali pada ada atau tidaknya rasa kasih dalam hati anakmu

Untuk dirimu..

Whether that child will treat you good or not

It is the reflection of how you treated them in the past

Or if you are absolutely sure

That you have treated them good

Then it is the question if there is love in your child’s heart

For you..

Kalau anak itu tidak memiliki kasih dalam hatinya

Untuk dirimu,

Jangan marah, jangan kutuki dia

Berdoalah meminta pengampunan untuknya

Dan berharap anak dari anakmu tidak akan melakukan hal yang sama pada dirinya

If that child has no love

For you,

Don’t get mad, don’t curse him/her

Pray for forgiveness for him/her

And wish the child of your child won’t do the same to him/her

For Flower Lovers

Buat yang suka bunga, luangkan waktu untuk jalan-jalan mengelilingi taman di Chentini Resort.

For those who like flower,  you definitely have to take a walk around the garden in Chentini Resort.

Saya menemukan taman bunga ini ketika saya berjalan-jalan sendiri mengitari kompleks Chentini.

I found this garden when I took a walk around Chentini compound.

Di hari kedua kami menginap disana (Sabtu, 2 Mei 2015), saya sengaja bangun sebelum jam 5 pagi karena niat mau motret matahari terbit (foto-foto bisa dilihat dipostingan saya berjudul 2D/1N at Chentini Resort).

On our second day of stay in that resort (Saturday, 2^nd May 2015), I put all my will to get up before 5 am for wanting to capture the sunrise (photos can be seen in my 2D/1N at Chentini Resort).

Jam 6 pagi seusai memotret matahari terbit, saya turun ke bawah karena mengira teman-teman saya sudah bangun.

After taking photos of sunrise I went downstair at 6 am, thinking my friends have awaken.

Yang saya temui hanya teman-teman cowok yang sedang bersaat-teduh. Yang perempuan tidak kelihatan sama sekali (rupanya masih pada molor).

The guys were having morning prayer. I didn’t see the girls (they were actually still in bed).

Karena mata saya sudah kepalang ‘nyala’, saya memilih untuk keluar dan keliling-keliling Chentini saja.

Since all my system was already ‘on’, I decided to go outside and took a walk around Chentini compound.

Udaranya segar dan sejuk. Pas betul buat jalan-jalan pagi.

The air was fresh and cool. Perfect weather to have morning walk.

Di jalan saya bertemu dengan tiga teman yang sedang dalam perjalanan kembali ke villa kami. Mereka memberitahu saya tentang keberadaan taman bunga.

I met three friends who were on their way back to our villa. They told me about the garden of flower.

Saya bukan penggemar bunga tapi melihat mawar-mawar dan bunga-bunga lainnya mau tidak mau membuat saya mengagumi keindahan ciptaan Tuhan ini.

I am not a flower person but seeing these roses and other flowers couldn’t help me not to admire the beauty of God’s creation.

*   *   *   *   *

Taman Bunga Nusantara

Nusantara Flower Garden.

Bersama rombongan dari kantor, kami pergi mengunjungi tempat itu hari Kamis, 4 Juni 2015.

I visited this place with others from the office on Thursday, 4^th June 2015.

Saya sebetulnya tidak mood untuk pergi. Saya tidur mungkin hanya tiga jam dan saya sedang amat sangat berduka karena anjing kesayangan saya meninggal pada dini hari itu. Tapi karena saya sudah di daftar untuk ikut dan saya juga ingin melupakan kesedihan saya, yah, pergilah saya.

I was not really in the mood to go. I maybe just got three hours of sleep and I was deeply sad for losing my beloved dog who passed away at the wee hour of that day. But since I was already in the list of people who would go there and I also wanted to forget my grief, off I went with them.

Perjalanannya lumayan jauh karena tempatnya ada di Puncak. Jalanannya yang berkelok-kelok bisa membuat saya yang tidak pernah mabok kendaraan sempat mual. Untung seorang ibu berbekal permen rasa jeruk, manjur mengusir rasa mual.

It was a long drive as the place is located in Puncak. The winding road made me who never had carsick had nausea. Luckily one of the lady brought orange flavor candy, it got rid the nausea off me.

Tempatnya luas. Jadi siapkan diri dengan memakai alas kaki yang nyaman dan berjalan pelan-pelan saja, kalau terasa capek, ada banyak kursi untuk beristirahat.

the entrance

It is a wide area. Get yourself ready by wearing comfortable foot wear and just enjoy your walk, there are many seat to sit when you feel tired.

Setelah makan siang, jam satu siang dan sampai jam tiga kami bisa berjalan-jalan mengelilingi taman itu.

At 1 pm, after lunch, until 3 pm we could go wandering around the garden.

Saya memilih pergi berpasangan dengan seorang ibu.

I chose a lady as my company.

Kami berjalan berputar-putar sampai bergantian jari kaki kami kram.. hehe..

We walked around the garden until each of us took turn in having our toes cramped.. lol..

Kalau tidak ingin capek atau tidak kuat jalan, bisa naik mobil keliling dengan membeli tiket seharga Rp.5.000,-

You can ride on tour cars if you don’t want to get tired of walking or you are not able to take long walk. The ticket for this garden car is only Rp.5.000,-

Untuk ukuran Puncak, udaranya sama sekali tidak dingin. Matahari bahkan bersinar cerah sekali sampai kami kepanasan.

Puncak is located on the mountain but it is not cold. The sun even shone brightly on that day that made us sweat.

Jadi bawalah topi atau payung.

So bring your hat or umbrella.

Dan jangan buang sampah sembarangan. Disana disediakan banyak tempat sampah tapi masih ada juga yang tega-teganya melempar sampah ke pinggir jalan.

And don’t litter. There are many dustbin but still some people had the heart to throw away their garbage.

Rombongan kami khusus membawa kantong sampah ukuran jumbo untuk menampung sampah bekas makan siang, gelas-gelas minum atau sampah lainnya.

We even brought a super large garbage bag for our lunch boxes, mineral water glasses or other litters.

Untuk yang mau ke tempat ini, saya sarankan; bawa baju ganti, snack dan air minum yang cukup, permainan, musik yang enak dan kalau bisa juga bantal.. hehe.. supaya perjalanan tidak terasa membosankan, apalagi kalau terjebak macet selama berjam-jam.

If you want to visit this place, I suggest you to bring clothes to change, plenty of snack and water, some games, great music to listen to and pillows too.. lol.. so it will make the long drive less boring, especially when you get stuck in the traffic.

Ya, jalur Puncak macet ketika kami pulang jam tiga. Sampai di kantor jam sudah jam 7.30 malam.

Yes, there was traffic jam in Puncak when we left at 3 pm. We got in the office at around 7.30 pm.

Haduh, kaki saya pegal karena saya duduk dibangku paling belakang yang jarak bangkunya mepet. Leher saya kaku karena tidur menyender tanpa bantal, sayang ransel saya ditaruh di bagasi mobil, kalau tidak kan ransel itu bisa berfungsi jadi bantal.

Man, my feet hurt because I sat on the back row of the car where there was little room for the feet. My neck was stiff for sleeping without pillow, my backpack was in the trunk, if not I could use it as a pillow.

Jadi sebaiknya tidak pergi ke sana di akhir pekan, saat liburan sekolah atau pada hari-hari raya.. hari biasa saja bisa macet..

So don’t go there on the weekend, during school holiday or on public holiday.. we went there on weekday and the traffic was awful..

Doggie - In Loving Memory

We made these memories for ourselves

Where our eyes are never closing

Our hearts were never broken

And time’s forever frozen still

*Photograph - Ed Sheeran

*  *  *  *  *

Keke:

One wish I made ten years ago

A wish I myself never took seriously

As I lied down on my bed

In the darkness of my bedroom

A thought came to my mind

‘When can I have my own dog?’

Mom didn’t want to have any dog

Dog messes the house and the garden..

‘Maybe I could only have a dog when I have my own house’

How many years would it take

Before I had my own house

‘I really want to have a dog’

I sighed and fell to sleep

Soon forgot all about that thought

and the wish..

*  *  *  *  *

Doggie:

I was only a few months old pup

When one of my former master’s worker ran away

He took me with him

I don’t know whether he did that because he loved me

Or he simply abducted me

It was one fateful morning

As we were walking down the dusty road in Bekasi, Jakarta

A car stopped beside us

The driver, a lady, rolled down her car’s window

There was pity on her eyes when she stared at me

She spoke to my master’s former worker

I didn’t know they were negotiating my price

Nor did I know she is your aunt, Keke

She took me home

She had many dogs there

I thought I have found home at last

But her dogs didn’t like me

‘Go away’, they growled at me, ‘we don’t want you here’

I had to defend myself

I maybe young but I was not afraid of them

So we had fights on every single day of my short stay there

One day I heard the lady spoke on the phone

‘Would Keke want a dog?’

A day or maybe two days later..

She went out, ran the car’s engine

She took me inside the car

Oh no, not again.. I hate cars, I’ve always got carsick

Where are we going anyway? Where is she taking me?

What’s going to happen to me?

*  *  *  *  *

Keke:

Dad’s youngest sister phoned

She told him about a dog she found in Bekasi

And the dog just didn’t fit in with her other dogs

She wanted to find a home for this dog

‘Would Keke want a dog?’

Mom was skeptical

Too late, dad already said yes, bring the dog to Bogor

I remained cool, pressing down my curiosity

And excitement

A dog..

Mixture of anxieties for longing to have a dog

And intimidated by mother’s nerve

*  *  *  *  *

Doggie:

The car stopped

The door was open

I was carried out

Ok, everything shaken

I walked like a drunken man

I was led into a house

‘He threw up in the car’ said the lady to a man who greeted us

I looked up, my heart beat fast

Would I be punished?

But the man just laughed

His eyes shone warmly at me

A girl who looks like him came to me

She put a bowl of water infront of me

Water..

Just what I need.. oh, thank you!

The fresh cold water refreshed me

*  *  *  *  *

Keke:

‘Is that the dog?’ mom raised her eyebrows

She gave us an old dog?

Look at how the dog walks

‘He’s got carsick’, said my aunt, ‘he threw up in the car’

The dog looked up to dad

Poor thing

Would he want a drink?

Where should I put the water?

*  *  *  *  *

Doggie:

My nausea slowly gone

I lied on the floor while they talked in the house

I sniffed and looked around

The house is modest but it’s bigger and cleaner than the lady’s house

The air is fresher too

I don’t know where I am

But I like this place

The man and the girl are nice

The other lady however, looks at me cautiously

But all of them are good people

I trust my instinct

‘Be good, boy’, the lady said farewell to me

So this is my home

And the man, the girl and the other lady are my masters now

Yippee! I found a home!

I have a family now

*  *  *  *  *

Keke:

The dog was quiet for a week or so

He ate everything we gave him

He drank water, milk and even tea

Poor thing.. as if he had not eaten or drank for ages

I bathed him on the third day of his stay in our house

What a wonder it did to him

He looked different after the bath

Not only that he looked clean

I never knew he was one handsome dog

He too must be felt different after the bath

Because he looked as if he came back alive again

He soon settled in

He liked everything in his new home

We too soon learned that he was a well behaved dog

Easy to be trained

A calm dog

He won our hearts

Even mom melted

The best dog had been sent to us

One night, I remembered the wish I made few months earlier

The wish was granted

Doggie came into our lives

And for the next nine years

He had become a family member

*  *  *  *  *

Doggie:

They found a name for me

‘Doggie’

New name, new home, new family

I love it

I never looked back to the life I had before I met them

Those past was gone

This is now

This is my home

And these three people have become my family

They were and still are the love of my life

*  *  *  *  *

Keke:

Tell me how I survive without you, Doggie

he hated being photographed

If only I knew you were only given nine years

I would spend more time with you

I wouldn’t be too busy

I wouldn’t spend nights away from the house

I would hug you more, kiss you a lot, play with you whenever I was at home

I would let you sleep in my room all the time

I would take more photos of you

Darn, I forgot to have you recorded in video

And I had the gadgets

How stupid of me!

I thought you would stay longer

Dogs can live as long as fifteen and even twenty years of age

You’re gone too soon..

*  *  *  *  *

Doggie:

Yeah, it sucks that I was only given nine years

But hey, those were the best nine years I had with you

With your father and mother too

I have no regrets

Okay, so I wish I could live longer too

But none of us could change a thing about it

I don’t blame you

For being busy,

For being away from the house

I don’t want you to spend your days or too many of your time to stay at home

It wouldn’t be good for you

Life is to be lived, to be cherished

I knew you would always go back home

I waited for you in the afternoon

When you didn’t come home that day,

I knew you would come home the next day

Or the day after that

You would only leave the house for three days at max

I knew no matter how busy you were

Or how tired you were

Or how excited your life was

You would always come home and happy to see me

Your face has always brightened

You smiled broadly

You called my name

You arms stretched out..

‘Oggie.. Doggie.. tookie ookie..’

You have other nicknames for me

Sound silly but heck, I didn’t and never mind it

I love you, Keke..

Even to hear your name spoken

Would make me raised my ears

And looked out to see if you were at the gate

*  *  *  *  *

Keke:

I always have this hope

That thing will get better for us all

When money will never be a problem anymore

I can give you and my parents better and bigger house

I can give you and my parents the best medicine money can buy

I can give you a mate, a female dog to be your friend and company

Forgive me, Doggie

I couldn’t give you the best treatment and medicine when you fell ill

And that illness took your life

I failed you..

I am so sorry

I couldn’t save you

I couldn’t take away your pain and suffering

*  *  *  *  *

Doggie:

Wednesday, 3^rd of June 2015

It was a beautiful and bright morning but

I didn’t feel good

I didn’t look good

I coughed and threw up

My body was weakened

I lied there, couldn’t even wagged my tail anymore

When Keke came

She would leave the house for work

She bent down

She put her hand on my head

I managed to lift up my head to look at her

Our eyes met

There was cloud in her eyes

I knew she hid her tears

I rarely saw her cry

She spoke softly ‘bye, Doggie’

She caressed my head

She always said that to me before she left for work

But this morning, it was a different meaning

Usually we knew we would see each other again in the afternoon

When she got back from work

But this morning, as our eyes met

We both knew..

I wouldn’t be here anymore when she got back from work

My heart broke

Not of my illness

Not of knowing my end was close

But to think how hard it would be for her

For not having me in the house anymore

For not able to accompany her anymore

*  *  *  *  *

Keke:

Thursday, 4^th of June 2015

It was almost 1 am and I was still awake

In about five more hours I would have to get up

I spent the night in the office

There would be an event held in Puncak

To save the time and energy, I decided to stay over in the office

My heart was so troubled

I was grieving deeply since 9 pm

Doggie was at home

He was ill, very ill

In the past  he always got better

Somehow this time it felt different

I didn’t want to admit it

I refused to accept it

No, my dog would be okay again

But I couldn’t get rid the feeling I’ve got this morning

When I caressed Doggie’s head

Our eyes met

Those brown eyes that I have looked into so many times

They looked sad

As if I would never see him again

We both got that feeling

That it would be our last meeting

*  *  *  *  *

Doggie:

An angel came and carried me up

The day was still dark

But I saw light, a bright and beautiful light

And my pain was gone

Oh, I am so happy

I am no longer in pain now

But where am I?

  

Suddenly I heard a cry

Wait.., I knew that voice

I looked down..

I saw a girl sitting on a bed, in a dark room, alone

She was weeping and sobbing hard

*  *  *  *  *

Keke:

he liked kids & kids liked him. kids came to my house when they heard he has
passed away. some of them come regularly to see his grave

Suddenly I saw Doggie!

He just appeared infront of me!

He smiled to me

I spontaneously hugged him, kissed him, cuddled him

He lied down his head on my shoulder

The thing he would do when I cuddled him

I knew instantly he has passed away

I cried

He put his right paw on my left arm

As if he wanted to tell me things would be okay

A voice came ‘it’s time’

No, no.. I don’t want to let him go

Give me more time

I saw him being carried and lifted up by an angel

He looked down to me

I have never seen him so happy, so peaceful, young and healthy

The angel brought him to a light place

Heaven

I have seen it many times before

My Doggie is in heaven now

I wept for feeling relief

And loss

*  *  *  *  *

Doggie:

this was one of his favorite spot. this is where we burried him

I looked at Keke, my dear Keke, my love

She stopped crying

She hugged me, kissed me, cuddled me

Oh, it was like before

She has done this like a thousand of times

I always love it

But I have got this feeling

I put my paw on her arm

Keke, you have to let me go..

I wished I could stay forever with you

But I can’t

The angel lifted me up

I looked down to see Keke

Don’t cry, Keke

Be happy for me

I am happy

I will be living in this beautiful place

*  *  *  *  *

Keke:

Tell me how can I survive without you

You were one of my positive energy

The world and people may go crazy

But when I got home

And I saw you, as I hugged and kissed you

I knew you were my sanctuary

Eversince you were gone

I am angry at everything and at everyone

Stupid world, stupid people, stupid problems, stupid life

I hate it, I hate them, I hate myself, I hate my life

I hate this period of time

I hate not knowing how to deal with it

And how to overcome it

*  *  *  *  *

Doggie:

I hate to see her crying

She cried a lot

I feel her pain

And it’s making me restless

I am given a privilege

I am being sent back to earth

To be with Keke

To ease her feelings

Until she is no longer grieving

*  *  *  *  *

Keke:

I broke down on the third day

After Doggie was gone

That night with all of my heart, spirit and soul.. I called out for him

The next day

When I woke up in the morning

I saw him in my room

He jumped up to me, barking and wagging his tail

So excited and happy to see me

I thought I was imagining

Maybe I have gone crazy

*  *  *  *  *

Doggie:

Just like her father and her late grandmother

She can see spirit

She can see me

She was skeptical at first

She thought she was hallucinating

But then she saw me going back and forth between two world

Only after that she knew I return to earth

For her

My presence calms her

Soothes her

Prevents her from doing bad things out of grieve

*  *  *  *  *

Keke:

his last photo, taken in February 2015

I am still grieving

But it is not as bad as before

Doggie is still around

I see his spirit

I know it is not forever

They say time heals

But I don’t know how long it is going to be

Before I can fully overcome this grief

And to live completely without Doggie

*  *  *  *  *

Doggie:

I am here for as long as you need me

But life doesn’t end here

You have a long and beautiful life

You will have all of your dreams and hopes

So don’t give up

Keep walking, keep your head’s up, keep the faith

*  *  *  *  *

Keke:

I have gone through many shits in my life

Nothing have ever beaten me

I’ll get through this somehow

You’ll see..

*  *  *  *  *

Doggie:

I stick around for time being

Until you can stand firm on your feet again

When you finally able to live without me

Remember this,

I never get far from you

And one day

We will be reunited, never be apart again

*  *  *  *  *

Keke:

you're greatly missed not only by me, the kids, neighbors, my students &
even the garbage man miss you, this morning when he came, he called out
'Doggie, Doggie!.. where are you?' .. eventhough he knew you've passed away

People suggest and even have offered me

A new dog

I told them Doggie is irreplaceable

It was 5^th April, 2006

When he came into my life

And left me on 4^th June, 2015

We had nine years together

We will have eternity together

Wait for me to come home, Doggie..

Where we will never be apart again