Balance

Yin and yang are not opposing forces (dualities), but complementary forces, unseen (hidden, femine) and seen (manifest, masculine), that interact to form a greater whole, as part of dynamic system. Everything has both yin and yang aspects as light could not be understood if darkness didn’t exist, and shadow cannot exist without light (Wikipedia).

So yin and yang basically speak about balance. And we all need balance to keep our bodies and minds healthy.

As you can read it yourself, the entries I make this month is all about the ordeal I have been through in the past two months, physically and mentally.

I am not born as a tough person. Infact, I am easily drowned by despair, pessimism and self doubt. Life taught me to control and hide them. But sometimes they came to the surface and tried to drown me. When it happened, I tried to draw strength from religious stuff but when it failed, I turned to the closest people.

My parents naturally are always stand by my side. But there are moments when I couldn’t tell them I was having emotionally imbalance. Sometimes it was because they were physically unwell or I felt they couldn’t understand me.

The problem is I am a private person. I don’t go around telling or showing people that I was having a bad day or feeling upset. I don’t show it. I could smile, appear like a happy person at the time when I was really feeling so damn awful.

I only share my feelings or my problems to very few closest people. In the recent depression I had for two months, my boyfriend and Mrs. Martha are the only people who knew about it, apart from my parents of course.

My boyfriend's characters are very much opposite with mine. So he is balancing me.

He is an optimist. And I drew strength from his optimism. His words of consolation, advice and support encourage me. They are like a light in the darkness.

He, like most men are, is driven by logic. It makes him able to stay calm, can reason and think clearly. For me it is like a strong rock I can hold on to at times when I am going crazy by emotion, stress, depression or when everything seems crumbling.

Mrs. Martha on the other hand, posses a sharp sense of humor. She makes me able to laugh at the time I was so down and the laugh makes me feel better. She is also a positive attitude person. Her positiveness is exactly what I need to battle my negativism. She is just graduated from elementary school but she has more wisdom and sincerity than those whom I know are college graduate (yep, that’s including myself).

They, along with my parents, are giving me strength and courage, making me able to stand again and overcome depression. I would not make it without their love, support and understanding.

They balance me.