How Does It Feel?

Rangkaian acara Paskah sudah lewat. 

Passover has passed. 

Bagus.

Good.

Ini beberapa kenangan yang tertinggal.

Here are some memories of it. 

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Jangan Libatkan Saya

Leave Me Out Of It

Dari awal saya sudah wanti-wanti ke rekan dan teman saya untuk tidak melibatkan saya dalam kepanitiaan.

I have asked my colleague and my friend not to involve me in Passover committee.

Ada alasan, pertimbangan dan banyak sakit hati yang bikin saya ogah melibatkan diri.

There are reasons, considerations and many heartache that prevented me from involving myself.

Biar saya jadi penonton aja deh. Tapi kalau ente perlu bantuan dan ane bisa bantu.. ha, lu ngomong aje, ok.

Let me be just a spectator. However if you needed any help and it would be something in my ability.. ha, just ask, ok.

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Cuci Ceker

Feet Washing

“Ci, kaki cici di cuci nanti di acara Kamis Putih” kurang seminggu dari hari H teman saya menyampaikan info itu.

“Sis, your feet will be washed in Convenant Thursday sermon” less than a week of the D-day my friend passed me that information.

Ceker gue?? Lha, kok ceker gue?

My feet?? Why does it have to be my feet?

“Iya ci, sudah diputusin di rapat bulan lalu”.

“Yes sis, it has been decided in last month’s meeting”.

Setan! rutuk saya dalam hati. Asoi geboi amat ya ngambil keputusan kagak pake nanya apa orangnya mau atau ga, bersedia atau ga, keberatan atau ga..

Damn! I cussed quietly. It must be really fun to take decision without asking if the person is willing or not, be okay with it or not..

“Say, titik geli di badan aku bukan di pinggang atau di bahu. Tapi di kaki” kata saya sambil menekan rasa kesal.

"Dear, my tickle point in my body is not in my waist or shoulder. It is in my feet" I told her as I quietly surpressed my upsetness.

“Yah, gimana dong, ci, udah keputusannya begitu.."

"It has been decided, sis.."

Doh, kalau titah para baginda yang mulia sudah keluar, rakyat jelata tidak punya pilihan lain kecuali nunut.

Man, when the honorable sires have set the decree, what else choice the subject have than bow in obedience.

Lucunya nih, kalau saya mau minta orang lain untuk tugas atau menggantikan seseorang.. saya kerap diwanti-wanti oleh mereka "Mintanya yang sopan ya, Ke, pake bahasa yang baik" kayak seakan-akan saya manusia paling tidak tahu adat sopan santun. Bah, ngatur tata bahasa sih perkara kecil, kan ane penulis. Noh, ane pake tata bahasa dengan kesopan santunan tingkat dewa.

Funny thing is when I wanted to ask somebody to do something or to replace someone.. I oftenly being reminded by them "Be polite when you do that, Keke, use good language" as if I were the most impolite person alive. Blah, what is difficult when it comes to grammar, I am a writer, man. There, I use the highest politeness level of grammar.

Orang lain harus dipertimbangkan perasaannya maka itu harus ditanya dulu, oh, pake tata adat kesopan santunan tingkat tinggi pula.

Other people's feelings must be put into consideration and that is why prior notice is a must, oh, plus using high level of mannerism.

Ah, tapi itu kan buat orang lain ya.. *kedip-kedip*.. hihi, jadi malu..

Ah, but that's for other people, right?.. *wink wink*.. haha, it embarrasses me..

Ada banyak hal yang semakin lama semakin menjauhkan hati saya dari tempat ini dan bukan cuma saya yang merasakan demikian.

There are many things that are distancing my heart of this place and I am not the only one who feels this way. 

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Cuma Buat Pertunjukan

Just For The Show

Datanglah hari Kamis itu. 

And so the crucial Thursday came.

Saya dag-dig-dug mikirin 'aduh mak, kalau ceker gue dicuci dan gue kelepasan cekikikan karena geli waktu itu ceker dipegang-pegang.. mampus deh gue'.

I was so damn nervous thinking 'man, if my feet are washed and I accidentally giggling for feeling tickle when those feet are touched.. I am a dead person'.

Kenapa sih mesti gue yang dipilih?, rutuk saya kesal.

Why chosed me anyway?, I grummbled.

Ntar kalau saya protes.. para baginda yang terhormat itu menganggap saya ngebangkang. 

If I protested.. those honorable sires would think me being unobedient.

Kenapa sih bukan yang lain aja? Tuh, saya punya rekan yang kita juluki pemain sinetron saking lebay dan gampang banget nangis. 

Why not appointed the other? There, I have a colleague whom we dubbed drama queen for being so dramatic and easily shed tears.

Kalau dia yang dipilih.. wah, efek dramatisnya pasti dapet banget. Kan pengennya supaya suasana nantinya jadi bikin hadirin bisa meresapi inti pesan yang disampaikan lewat ilustrasi cuci ceker ini.. so pemerannya harus yang bisa menjiwai perannya dong.

If she were chosen.. well, you shall have the dramatic effect. So it should be presented in a way where the audience can grasp the message delivered through this feet washing illustration.. then the cast should be somebody who can get into the role perfectly.

Saya? Saya setengah mati nahan ketawa karena kegelian.

Me? I hardly kept myself from not laughing for feeling tickled.

Saya bisa merasakan muka saya jadi merah-kuning-hijau menahan rasa geli. Bahkan sekali saya sampai harus menunduk karena nyaris terkikik geli. Untung sebagian besar lampu dimatikan dan karena itu sudah malam bikin ruangan sebagian besarnya jadi gelap so  mudah-mudahan tidak ada yang lihat ekspresi muka saya.

I could feel my face turned red-yellow-green for holding this tickled. Once I even had to bow my head down for nearly giggled. Good thing most of the lights were turned off and since it was night already most of the room was dark so hopefully no one saw the expression on my face.

Doh elah.. semua demi pertunjukan..

Darn.. the whole thing was for the sake of the show..

Maaf kalau saya menyebut dan menganggapnya hanya sebuah pertunjukan.

Sorry if I called and thought of it as just a show..

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Kapan Kelarnya?

When Will It End?

Saya duduk di depan sana. Tegang karena konsentrasi menahan rasa geli saat ceker saya dipegang-pegang orang. 

I sat in the front. Intense for concentrated holding the tickled for having my feet touched by somebody.

Kapan selesainya sih??

When will it end??

Boro-boro saya berasa terharu. 

Don't assume I felt moved.

Mendengar MC ber-hiks-hiks-hiks terharu malah bikin saya semakin kepingin ketawa karena membayangkan sementara yang lain sudah bercucuran air mata, saya malah lagi berjuang mati-matian supaya ga ngakak kegelian waktu ceker saya dipegang-pegang. Sumpah, itu gelinya sampe bikin saya merinding disko.

Hearing the MC sobbed tickled me more as I imagined while others shed tears I was struggling to keep myself from not laughing for being tickled when somebody touched my feet. I swear, it was so tickled it raised all the hair on my neck.

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Gimana Rasanya?

How Does It Feel?

Lega rasanya waktu akhirnya acara cuci ceker itu selesai. Ha.. saya bisa kembali ke tempat duduk saya dong ya..

I was so relieved when that feet washing was done. Ha.. I could return to my seat..

Eh, tapi..

But, wait..

Gimana rasanya tadi setelah kakinya dicuci? MC bertanya..

How does it feel for having your feet washed? MC popped that question..

Gimana rasanya??

How does it feel??

Saya meliriknya sambil mengerutkan kening. Lha, jadi ada wawancara?

I glanced at her, crossing my eyebrow. Well, should there be an interview for this?

Gimana tadi rasanya waktu yang tua mencucikan kaki yang muda?

How does it feel to have older person washed the young's feet?

Perasaan kok jadi seakan-akan saya habis mencicipi menu baru dan sekarang saya diwawancara gimana rasanya?

Why does it feel as if I just tasted new menu and now I was being interviewed to tell how it tasted.

Saya heran sekaligus kesal dan lucu juga.

It amazed yet upset and tickled me at the same time.

Gimana rasanya, bray??

How does it feel, dude??

Ga ada istimewanya. Emang harus terasa istimewa ya? 

Nothing special. Should it be special?

Lha, tiap sore kalau sudah santai di rumah dan saya sama papa lagi ngobrol-ngobrol, saya pasti angkat kaki saya, taruh di atas lutut papa dan papa langsung mijitin kaki saya. Dulu waktu mama masih hidup dia suka mijitin atau elus-elus kaki saya tanpa saya minta. Dan pacar saya, Andre, juga begitu. Mereka bertiga itu semuanya jauh lebih tua dari saya.

Every evening when my papa and I are relaxing at home I put my feet on papa's lap and he massages them. When mama was alive she liked to massage and caressed my feet too. And my boyfriend, Andre, does the same. Those three people are much older than me.

Beda lagi pendapat teman saya yang cekernya juga dicuci.

My friend, whose feet was also washed, had different opinion.

Dia menganggap itu adalah hal yang luar biasa.

He thought it as an extra ordinary thing.

Kenapa demikian? Ah, ini bicara mengenai efek psikologis dan bukan tentang spiritualitas.

Why is that so? Ah, it is about psychological effect and not about spiritual thing.

Teman saya itu yatim piatu dari usia muda. Saya yakin tidak ada orang dewasa yang pernah dengan penuh kasih sayang mengelus-elus atau memijiti kakinya.

My friend had become orphan since young age. I am not sure there were adults who lovingly have ever caressed or massaged his feet.

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Tugas Telah Dilaksanakan

Duty Is Served

"Ci, mestinya tadi ke depan jangan bawa hp".

"Sis, you shouldn't bring your cellphone when you got up there".

Saya yang baru saja lega karena acara sudah selesai jadi mangkel lagi.

I who was just relieved to have the whole thing done 

Bray, alasan satu-satunya gue tadi nongkrong di depan sono dan jadi tontonan sejuta umat kan bukan karena itu pilihan gue, bukan karena gue ngacungin jari dan teriak "woi! gue aja yang cekernya dicuci ye..'

Dude, the only reason I sat infront there and made myself a show for the millions of congragetion is not my choice, it was not like I raised up my hand and exclaimed "yo! let me be the one whose feet being washed ok.."

Jadi jangan gue dikritik atau dicela lagi cuma gara-gara gue bawa hp gue ke depan sana.

So don't criticized or condemned me for bringing my cellphone up there.

Kecuali kali kalo yang gue bawa ke depan tadi itu sapi.

Unless it was a cow that I brought up there.

Yang penting tugas sudah dijalankan.

Most important thing is duty is served.

Anda tidak puas? Ya gampang, jangan tunjuk saya lagi. Kan masih banyak yang semilyar kali lebih baik dari saya.. ya nggak, ya nggak?..

You are not pleased with it? That's easy, don't appoint me again. There are billions of others who are so much better than me.. right, right?..

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Kerendahan Hati

Humbleness

Ribuan tahun yang lalu Tuhan Yesus memberikan ilustrasi tentang kerendahan hati sewaktu Dia mencuci kaki murid-muridNya.

Thousands of years ago Jesus gave illustration about humbleness when He washed His diciples' feet.

Manusia itu susah rendah hati.

It is hard for people to be humble.

Manusia cenderung menyampaikan pesan verbal dan non-verbal yang berbunyi "Ini gue lho, hadirin dan hadirat.. Lah, elu? Elu pikir elu tuh siapa sih" kepada sesamanya.

People tend to pass verbal and non-verbal message of "This is me, people.. And you? Who the hell do you think you are" to another human.

Buat saya pribadi, ritual tahunan pencucian kaki ini sama sekali tidak pernah menyentuh hati saya.

For me personally, this annual ritual of feet washing has never touched my heart.

Tapi ketika orang melakukan seperti yang tertulis ini; itulah kasih, itulah kerendahan hati.

Buluh yang terkulai tidak akan diputuskanNya, dan sumbu yang pudar nyalanya tidak akan dipadamkanNya

But when people do as written above; that is love, that is humbleness.

Kerendahan hati bukanlah suatu pertunjukan. 

Humbleness is not a show.

Bukan pula merupakan sesuatu yang dilakukan mengikuti mood; cuma dilakukan kalau lagi pengen aja.

It is not something done out of mood; it's done when one feels like it.

Kerendahan hati bukan cuma sebatas bibir.

Humbleness is not a lip service.

Bukan juga sesuatu yang dibanggakan.

It is not something to be prided.

Jangan menjadikan diri rendah hati karena takut nanti tidak masuk sorga.

Don't be humble for fearing would be banned from entering heaven.

Kerendahan hati sejati bukanlah sesuatu yang diatur atau direncanakan.

Real humbleness is not something pre-arranged or pre-planned.

Kerendahan hati menjadi suatu tantangan ketika sikon seseorang membuat dirinya merasa lebih dari yang lain.

Humbleness becomes real challange when someone's situation makes him/her feels superior than others.

Kerendahan hati mengatakan 'saya ini bukan apa-apa dan saya juga bukan siapa-siapa'.

Humbleness says 'I am nothing and I am nobody'.